There’s a certain sickness I see in the modern man.
He’s chasing progress. Obsessed with metrics. Always talking about scale, status, or performance. But if you stop and ask him why he’s doing any of it… there’s usually a long pause. Then a string of answers that sound good on paper, but feel hollow in the chest.
That’s because success without purpose isn’t success at all. It’s distraction dressed up as ambition.
Progress Is Not the Same as Direction
Just because you’re moving doesn’t mean you’re going somewhere worth going. We’ve created a culture that glorifies forward motion, promotions, more money, more followers, better cars, but never stops to ask, in service of what?
This is the trap I believe most men fall into. We confuse activity with alignment. But activity without values is noise. Action without clarity is chaos. We think we’re building something, but deep down we’re just afraid to be still long enough to ask the hard question:
Is this even who I want to be?
Why Purpose Is the Antidote
Through my own reflection, business wins and failures, performance coaching, and even loss, I’ve come to believe one thing:
Purpose is the difference between progress that fulfills you or progress that eventually destroys you.
It’s not about being perfect. We’ll all carry parts of the unmade man inside us, the insecure parts, the reactive parts, the uncertain voice that whispers in moments of doubt. But the antidote is alignment. And alignment only comes when you know who you are, what you stand for, and where you’re going.
The Scientific Mirror: Purpose, Meaning, and Mental Health
Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust, wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning that “those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear almost any ‘how.’”
Modern research backs this up. Studies in positive psychology have shown that a strong sense of purpose correlates with better resilience, mental health, emotional regulation, and life satisfaction (Hill & Turiano, 2014). Even physical health improves.
Purpose anchors you. Especially when things fall apart.
Without it, men drift. They become reactive, competitive in the worst way, anxious, and easily manipulated by trends, hustle culture, and egocentric definitions of success. And worst of all, they become bitter.
Contribution: The Missing Piece
Here’s something I believe deeply:
Your purpose will often reveal itself as a contribution to others.
It’s why selfish people stay lost. They’re so busy chasing “more for me” that they never taste the fulfillment that comes from giving. Being useful. Contributing to the tribe. The paradox is: the more you give in alignment with your values, the more you get back in meaning and strength.
The weak man lives for himself and wonders why he feels empty.
The unmade man hasn’t yet discovered the power of service.
The made man understands that fulfillment lives in responsibility.
Values Are the Map. Purpose Is the Compass.
So how do you find your purpose?
You stop looking outward. You start by uncovering your values .
I don’t believe in right or wrong. Only consequences.
And the best decisions are the ones that you’re proud of, not because they’re easy, but because they’re aligned.
Aligned to your beliefs. To your integrity. To the man you’re trying to become.
When you know your values, truth, growth, contribution, loyalty, whatever they are, they become your internal map. And once you align your actions to that map, your purpose starts to reveal itself through the work, the people, the causes, and the energy you’re naturally drawn to.
Reverse Engineer Your Life
One of the most powerful things you can do as a man is to reverse engineer your life.
Start with a vision, not just of your career, but of your impact .
What kind of man do you want to be?
What kind of father, leader, partner, son?
Now build your goals, your business, your training, and your daily decisions backwards from that vision.
If your version of “success” doesn’t get you closer to that life, it’s not success. It’s distraction.
Closing Thought: Who Are You Becoming?
At the end of the day, this isn’t about productivity hacks or branding yourself as some high-value male.
It’s about asking yourself:
Is the man I’m becoming someone I would be proud to follow?
Because if not, it’s time to pause. Reassess. And reconnect with the one thing that matters more than anything else:
Purpose before progress.